Many people who have been part of a romantic relationship that ends understand how breakups can impact your life. The process of transitioning away from your partner may present many problems, such as social, interpersonal, psychological, emotional and financial troubles. Because each relationship is distinct and ends under a unique set of circumstances, there is no “correct” way to separate from a partner. While there is no “correct” way, however, it may be helpful to not do certain things. Let’s review a few of these tendencies now:
Excessive blaming – It’s okay to feel angry and upset after a relationship ends but don’t waste too much energy blaming the other person. Even if their actions caused your separation ask yourself if continually blaming them for your distress is a good use of your time.
Avoiding – Whatever you’re feeling – angry, sad, hurt – try not to avoid or bury these emotions.
Acting out – Try not to lash out at the other person with insults or hurtful actions. Especially in times of anger and distress, it’s important to monitor your behavior and treat other people with respect.
But what can you do to start recovering? Let’s review some simple strategies that may be helpful:
Self-Care – Treat yourself to something you enjoy. For instance, visiting family and friends may be helpful.
Support – To the extent that you are comfortable, reach out to trusted family and friends for support. Breaking up is hard and you don’t have to bear the burden alone!
Appropriate communication – Do your best to discuss how you’re feeling about your breakup. Writing down your thoughts or having a conversation with a trusted friend could be helpful.
If you have recently experienced a break up, please search our database to find a licensed psychologist that works for you. In addition, please consider reviewing these materials: